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The sweet memories will forever live

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I dreamt of you, again, which was strange,
Because it’s been a while now and I know it’s all in vain,
But, I let the tears fall, yes, that was the only way,
To let this feeling out of me, to let it flow away,

I’ve tried – to block you, to hate you, to let the memories slip away,
And, I’ve thought I’ve failed again,

Yet, with each tear that oozed out, pressing against the cotton on which I lay, a sense of ease gripped me,
Memories flashed back – all good, nothing bad – the things I miss, loved, and would not exchange
Hugs – where you would just hold me, firm; you – my shelter,
The silly rhymes whispered into each other’s ears, undisturbed by the loud noises outside,
The smiles, the pampering,
The disagreements – solved, with a bar of white chocolate,
The err… frenzied evenings,
The secret meetings,
So on,
All this, a part of us, a part of who we are,

But you no longer think that, I know,
I’m just a memory, meaning nothing to you,
I’m just ‘that girl’, that’s it, nothing more, nothing less,
You made that clear, when you chased me away,
And told me I’m part of you no more,

Of course, I’ve made my mistakes, I’m no saint,

I let you go first, but you came, I let you,
Then you said, ‘go’, leaving me to whine,
You said you loved me, and then said no,
Why did you bother at all?
But, I’m the stupid one, you’re the wise,
Yes, that’s right,

This time, with each tear that fell, with each memory,
There was just one thought I was grappling,
I thought of you, how you were doing,
One thing certain – you wouldn’t be crying for me,

High on life, you celebrate now,
I’m glad, you do deserve that love,
At least, I’m out, bothering you no more,
Just a faded memory, I am,
Stored no longer in your heart,
That’s ok, I can live with that,

As pointless as it seems,
I will cherish what you gave me,
The sweet memories will forever live
Within me.

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6 Comments

  1. “I’ve tried – to block you, to hate you, to let the memories slip away,
    And, I’ve thought I’ve failed again,”

    “I’m just a memory, meaning nothing to you,”

    I feel u.

    Hang in there babe.

  2. The Womanist says:

    😦

  3. B.I* says:

    moving on does happen either way 🙂 I thought you might like this –

    I loved you once. D’you hear a small “I love you”

    Each time we’re forced to meet? Don’t groan, don’t hide!

    A damaged tree can live without a bud:

    No one need break the branches and uncover

    The green that should have danced, dying inside.

    I loved you, knowing I’d never be your lover.

    And now? I wish you summers of leaf-shine

    And leaf-shade, and a face in dreams above you,

    As tender and innocent as mine.

    -Carol Rumens, “Once After Pushkin”

  4. casper says:

    When you take me back to the abandoned room bathed in dusty sunlight I smile clinging to the lingering warmth…

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