I’m annoyed. Very, very annoyed. Extremely annoyed. I’m frustrated, with certain people, certain aspects of life, and a lot of things I am doing.
I can’t think, my brain isn’t working, which makes it impossible me to get my work done during the day. My job involved writing, and when my brain isn’t functioning as it should be, it is impossible to write anything proper. I’m struggling to get my thoughts in order, struggling to think.
I do other work, apart from my usual paid job, and they are not particularly pleasing either. In fact, I am beginning to find them quite stressful, which is annoying because one reason I started doing this other work is to keep myself sane.
And since I am annoyed, I’m unhappy. My head hurts, and I don’t feel like doing anything.
Two weeks ago it was a different story. I wrote an article that a lot of people were really satisfied with, including the person on whom the article was based on. He called it ‘fantastic’.
And, I did find joy in something old. I went back to playing the violin with a group of people, which helped me take my mind off a lot of things. Yes, I did have to practice, hard too, because I wasn’t practicing the violin properly for the last few years. The pieces were hard, but brilliant. There was a lot of detail involved, and we had to pay attention to them all. Not to mention that fact that the conductor of this group was a perfectionist. I was probably the oldest of the group (the others were under 20), but, it didn’t matter. It was one of the best concerts I played for, and it felt great to be a part of it.
But, now, I’m just so frustrated.
I’ve tried to find some inspiration. Watched movies, listened to songs, slept for long hours and all that. I even had a fun weekend going back to school for our walk, and strolling along those corridors we were once so familiar with. I’ve had late night conversations with my girls as well. I love the weekend, I just wish it will last forever. The only two things I could try out for inspiration would be, as a friend suggested, to take out the camera and just click. Maybe I’ll find something ‘inspirational’. Or, I could try a long, quite walk, admiring the beauty around me. But then again, my there s nothing of that sort in my neighbourhood, just dust and noise.
Dear me, I hope I get over this ‘annoyed’ phase.