I don’t remember how my twenties started. But, I do remember that it started off with a whole ton of dreams. Dreams of all shapes and sizes, tangible and not-so. Free of structures and rules, this was the age of possibility and opportunity; the age of new love, happiness and magic. Or so I was told. And to cherish every moment of it.
But, then, it was also the age of conflict and struggle. I often found myself, ‘sitting on the fence’, staring into the far distance, wondering where life would take me, unsure of the decisions I had to make and struggling to find purpose and meaning in what I was doing and where I wanted to go in life. I think I often looked for the comfort of structures and rules, some sort of pillar to cling on to. It also didn’t please me that at the start of my twenties I didn’t have the answer to the question that concerned adults posed, “Where do you want to be ten years from now?”
And now, having just turned thirty, I don’t really remember many of these dreams or conflicts of my twenties, to even take stock of them and see how far I’ve come. But, I think I’ve learnt a lesson or two from that age. For instance, I’ve learnt that life has this funny way of revealing itself, that sometimes all you’ve got to do is just dream. I’ve learnt that your dreams will make you grow. I’ve also learnt that it’s ok to sit on the fence and stare into the far distance at those green fields. Just that, if you make an effort to get off the fence – maybe you’ll be stuck in the mud or be stung by a bee – in that distance you will find the green fields; opportunity, purpose and meaning. And in the process, I’ve learnt that if you really want to cling on to a pillar, there will always be one.
At thirty, I am not quite sure if I have found a complete answer to the question of the twenties, “Where I want to be ten years from now?” But, I do know that I am able to answer that question now than I was before and I am confident of my answer. Yet, I am glad that I haven’t found the complete answer, for I can still keep dreaming and hop over fence after fence towards those green fields, across the muddy path. And, in these dreams and struggles, I know I will find answers, opportunity, love, happiness and above all, magic.